Soul Whirling Somewhere все тексты (слова) песен, переводы, видео, клипы

years later, out of nowhere. a box i forgot i still had. pale, near-virgin paper barely creased or ever read. the scent of your lipstick still preserved where you kissed it. the few only words you ever wrote me. "i'm glad we met." "i hope we can make each other happy." "we're a step ahead." ...we're a step ahead... i've heard that one before

you have made me want my last days now, by pulling out the ground i was on. my faith in you, i told you, would be the last to try and make me believe in love. and i prayed. i hoped. i would cut my throat if that would make it all pull through. if i could know love was forever i'd breathe that in and die the next moment with the greatest smile. the smile i've always wanted. the smile i'd cut my hands off for. the greatest smile. the smile i've always wished i could have. the smile i'd burn my eyes out for. i hope i'm wrong. God, i hope im wrong.

i want time to cry. i want time to lie down. i want time to fall away from this. i want time to brood. i want time to be hopeful. i want time to try to get you back. but i don't want any time alive if it's gonna be like this. and now, your body is fictional in my mind. and nothing at all in my hands. your heart - if it's still left - is a glass box i've tried my best to fill with the only good things i can remember. i know you really don't think about me much anymore. but you're all i can put in my head. there is nowhere to go. i have all the time in the world. and it keeps me tied to you. so stop laughing at me.

i'll live the rest of my short life trying to prove my self-less love. that in some backwards and unhealthy, but beautiful way i care more about you than myself. you could learn a lesson not to build your world up around you, because when we go, our hearts are the only thing left. i've got to show that i can hold my love up no matter how bad i want to leave. because i care more to show you my love than to free myself or make my life better. maybe i'm wrong- maybe i'm selling myself short. but that's what i'm here for. when your world falls down i'll be one of the only two things that you can fall back on. and i'll still be yours.

my fingers are falling apart now 'cause i can't talk to you. we've fell into this pattern of returning the hurt. i know the more i try desperately to let you know how much i'm trying the further away i push you. i feel like i'm losing you. i feel like i'm losing any chance. and why do you tell me to let go? i will never let go of you in my heart. there's too much to remember; too many mistakes i've made to give up now. i don't wanna lose you to one of your quick, bad decisions. the ones you make when you're running away. the ones you're unaware of. the ones that are making me the least important person in your life... why do you tell me to let go? i will never let go of you in my heart. no matter how cruel you get. but when will you be aware of that? i miss you.

i guess my time had come. time that finally i'd walk in on... i guess my luck had run. finally all run out, so i'll walk in on... i just want my friends right now. i just want my friends to help me out of this hopeless feeling i'm in, to forget what i saw. panic in my chest. clench around my stomach. funny when your heart starts beating faster (in a bad way.) God, how do i cat? they haven't seen me yet. turn, you stupid weakling. walk away and everything will be okay. i just want my friends right now. i just want my friends to talk me out of the stupid things i might do if i go on like this. i should knock you both out right now. God knows i'd like to. so that's what you look like when you're being kissed... i never would have know - my eyes were always closed. my eyes. always closed. last time i trust anyone. last time i trust you.

Finger lifted to the rim of my eye
"I know I'll never..."
And I had said the few things that I wanted
That, we all agree, frees our soul
Because no one ever wanted a memory
To chain them to a word left unfulfilled
And all sentences said
The images collect in my head of spirit

when i see you smile the corners of your mouth quiver like you're trying to hold it. and there's a tiny bit of sadness i think i see in you beneath those heavy, solid, deep, infinite eyes. i only hope you see me the same way i see you. so keep holding me in that gaze. i would give anything for you to keep holding me. who you are is still somewhat unknown to me. but it's not the mystery that makes me want you. it's the tiny bit of sadness i think i see in you that tells me there's so much inside you. there's so much inside i want to know. i only hope i'm not misreading you. so please keep holding me in that gaze, because i never felt it before you. and just last night when you said, "how could i ever forget you?" ...just last night you said, "how could i ever forget you..."

i woke up with your beautiful name and body curling up next to me. your room soaked in a clear, late-morning light, dull music still ticking quietly. the same birds singing that had started when we drifted asleep. i touch your cool hair and velvety back. do you even understand why i call you angel, nani? driving me back in the warm air and i can feel our time is almost through. "so why don't you move here?" and you know i'm just dumb enough to. "when will i see you again? i hope soon..." but i know i don't really need to, because once is enough to bond me to you, but you know i'd love to see you, nani. i attach too easily and it just leaves me empty.

if, when all i have left to do, is to force myself to hate you to get over you... if, when all i have left, is to become callous to every feeling i have about you to get over you... then i don't want to live, because i can never hate you. no matter how bad you hurt me, i will never hate you. but, if i live, then so does my love for you. and that creates a sadness that makes my heart and my life unlivable. i don't want to become cold again, just so i can get over you. i did that before and i nearly lost myself. i nearly lost myself. if, when everything falls away and all i have left is to force myself to hate you to get over you, even then i still won't, though living like this is unbearable. then i guess i can't live anymore, because i could never hate you. i will never hate you. i'll always love you.

will this ever be over? the day that i die i'll still be trying to sort it all out. to get this all out of my mind, even though that's the last thing my heart really wants. and all the friends in the world, and all the time... all the things i could do to distract me from you will not. all the love from another hand greased with a world i'm so unfamiliar will i will never want to know because it gets me no further away from you. the last time i left i was kissin' your kitchen floor goodbye. and i spent way too much time just lying in your bed like we used to do; but this is the last time. and all the friends in the world. and all the time... all the things i could do to distract me from you will not. all the love from another hand greased with a world i'm too unfamiliar with i will never want to know because it gets me no further away from remembering you. this will never be over. my love will never be over.

i only want to fall asleep. i want to wake and have all the pain be gone. God, knock me out, and please change everything while i sleep. i wish that i didn't feel this way. i just want to fall asleep. and if it can't be with you, then it might as well be permanent. God save me. God give me. or just let me fall asleep.

these days hope rides an empty shell. and i know this feeling only too well. if a word could have changed where i am now, then i'd wish if it were. dreams hang in frailty, and glimmer out of reach. the threads of imagination - thinner than air. i'll be happy when i am. and i'll be sad when i am.

it's been so long since i've had anyone sleeping next to me. it's better than anything just to fall asleep. i kept myself up to watch your thoughts drifting next to me. sometimes this single and only event is where i want to be. safe in my room, in my blue, blue room. angel sleeps there breathing through her sleep. sometimes i live for that half-concious waking up to see that there's someone next to me. and that's where i'd like to be. i'd love to hear you breathe. things that don't last get glorified. and i still don't know what the hell just happened. but a minute awake in the morning light and i heard your little lungs stutter the sleepy air you breathe, and that's enough to make me know that's where i'd like to be. i'd love to hear you breathe. it's probably something i don't really need, but that's where i'd like to be.

that was the time when, if i hadn't been so stupid and distant i could have saved us. we drove there, and i didn't want to stay. anxious to get back to my solitude. how stupid to want to be away from you. driving a way from the greatest comfort i'd ever had. watching you say "goodbye," and "i love you." i am so stupid. i was so FUCKING stupid. i was SO FUCKING STUPID. and God, i love you. God i love you.