- Firstwake Redux
You'd be choking on your flame, my Son without a name, made king of all the wastes. And forever will swallow us alive, we'll be abstracted from time - we can let the tides wash over.
This is the epilogue to the introduction: Lost in the sound. Hold tight all your systematic theories that help you to sleep at night, but remember that there could be no sufficient certitudes in hell.
Father, forgive them for they know not what they do. Mother, receive me because I'm coming home to you. Does this cup run dry?
Look at what we've done again. We wage war in the name of love - using gold to fill the holes in your hands.
Caught in the paradox - juxtaposed between bifurcated black and white... and my propensity to fail you. Caught in the cyclical narrative of violence that invokes your name to justify genocide. They'll take everything.
We traded water for salt - something whole for something equally as broken as us. Now dying of thirst we'll write this out in blood and shut you in a stone cold time where the air rots out - leaving us alone. We chose to be alone. I was given to cup to quench parched tongues, but I became drunk and lust lynched my lungs.
Father, forgive them. For they know not what they do. Mother, receive me, because I'm coming home to you. Does this cup run dry?
For they know not what they do.
- Inherit the Earth
After the fire, after the rain
After the sacred kissed the profane -
When you came and left again
Such a captivating pain
After that night I left my comfort
To find where your body lies
I'd wander upon this grave then fall...
I'd fall inside
- Nervosa
Look straight through me look at the nightmare
Our past is but a dream that we're trying to escape, trying to evade to erase ourselves
Look through me and see the advent of our obsessions
Behold, your child, perfection a rotting shell of atrophy
Watching crowds like crows, we furiously flock to tragedy
observe the hurt then hasten back to our peaceful, quiet nests of blasphemy
Scapegoat rather die and know, drag your failing body in tow
- Panic Room
Lustrous lines obscured by opaque blinds - frozen metacarpals tap tap tap the window glass. Syncopated staccatos with the broken clock synchronized with my post-traumatic ticks ticks - talking to the space in the room that echoes back indiscernibly to my disconnected self/self - it’s self-consuming, what's ensuing is my undoing - the nightly casualty of war. [01]
And it sounds like this: War, endless war.
In my endless dance with entropy I must rescind my sentience, the sickness that I know. [02] Rearrange the disarray of disintegrated senses - puzzle pieces, spectral splinters of a soldier’s worn and tattered soul. In my endless dance with entropy I must rescind my sentience, the sickness that I know.
Machines of air looking down on us [03] - the beasts of dust as we grapple heel and hand, [04] mud and sand, (blood red oil) [05] the chaff of the harvest [06] converted to currencies of wealthy means, stepping stones cut from our perforated bones. Riches are reaped beside our bodies sown just to be thrown back again and forgotten if we stumble in, laid inside a homeless nest, [07] stuck with eager dirty needles, [08] shipped to an early steeple where boxes close, descend with grace as you defend yourself - both charitable and chaste. [09] Praise me for my valor, lay me on a crimson tower - justify my endless terror as my “finest hour.” [10] Treat me as a token to deceive the child whom we fatten for this scapegoat slaughter. [11]
- Psychescape
It’s vast expanses mocked my advances
And bid me, “Oh fragile mind, you will learn how to fracture.”
Scrawled across the walls
The suffering saint cries out:
“Is it madness to retreat
From the myopic gaze [1] that holds us captive?”[2]
- The Night God Slept
1. The Well
Mother, tell me story or sing me a song. It's a sacred sort of disorder how these sisters came along ¹ - of flocks of fools, and dozens of men who fell through their thrones into the abyss of again. ² The kings of earth, crippled with crowns, ³ and the cursed
criminal ⁴ who turned it upside down. So we shout: "Hold us together. Tear me apart." May our suffering sing the hymns we couldn't hear. "Hold us together even if it tears me apart." May our blood be spilled for the life of this world. ⁵
"Do you feel whole? ⁶ Will you see my face? ⁷
You are. I'm not, but you are. ⁸
Dead to conceive life that tells out stories.
"Hold us together. Tear me apart." May our suffering sing the hymns we couldn't hear. "Hold us together even if it tears me apart." May our blood be spilled for the life of this world.
- The Well Redux
Mother, tell me a story or sing me a song. It's a sacred sort of disorder how these sisters came along - of flocks of fools, and dozens of men who fell through their thrones into the abyss of again. The kings of earth, crippled with crowns, and the cursed criminal who turned it upside down. So we shout: ""Hold us together. Tear me apart."" May our suffering sing the hymns we couldn't hear. ""Hold us together even if it tears me apart."" May our blood be spilled for the life of this world.
""Do you feel whole?"" Will you see my face?
You are. I'm not, but you are.
Dead to conceive life that tells our stories.
""Hold us together. Tear me apart."" May our suffering sing the hymns we couldn't hear. ""Hold us together even if it tears me apart."" May our blood be spilled for the life of this world.
- Understanding Love as Loss
Searching for solace in a toxic temple
Fragments of lead climbing through your head
Stones load your coat as you wade through the winter current
Dancing with the dead on the riverbed
Wanton hanging of the wise pale king
And I see myself
Here we dream in a bed of seamless sleep