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I walk the world on insect legs beneath an unforgiving sun
Eat the dirt throughout my days On the dirt and dirt I come undone
Messiah born in Bethlehem won't find me lying there
The world's too big for him to see me or hear the things I've said
Hold me to you as I pray, Take the rest of the world away
My blood runs warm because of you, The scales fall out of my eyes
I laughed in the keep of a man with a rose my mandibles are caked in trash
Thought you wouldn't recognize me, in the black of soot and ash

I am made of parts that freeze and ligaments that atrophy
Though they look they’ll never see
They don’t know something’s wrong with me
And just as well, I’ll never tell what’s underneath the scales
I’ve worn to thin to honor you, my every effort fails
Bury me with Israel and cover up my tracks
Leave not a trace of what I was, I’m never coming back
And if you’re mercy falls upon he whose blood is cold

Jesus, deliver us from our selfishness
It's roots are twisting up into our hearts
Worst of all, there seems to be no cure for this
I feel my God, that I may come apart
The Jesus that we're shouting in our neighbors' face
Looks nothing the Jesus that you are

Heavy is the soul that I've been carrying

let's ruin everything
everything gets ruined (everything)
let's ruin everything
let's ruin everything

let's rehearse the song and verse

the graceful dance of dying

it is so that my transgressions have born a withered fruit,
the sun has scorched the rising plans;
alas they have no root, the bleached bones of animals bound by leather strips,
dance through the air with laughter as i wield this wicked whip,
as you did warn me carpenter, this world has weakened my heart,
so easily i disparage, self-seeking the work of my art,
and there you have come to me at the moment i bathe in my sorrow,
so in love with myself, sought after avoiding tomorrow,

Turning over in interrupted slumber,
You ponder others, growing ever wakeful,
You've locked the vermin in the other bedroom,
To be so perfect causes you to feel so thankful,
Now find the fault because your boyfriend can't read,
Reflecting on to you is all the bitterness you need,
So unhappy, yet so preoccupied,
Never found beaten down with your forked tongue tied.

You're being coy with me?
You were timorous and got me in the palm of your hand
I'm just an idiot wrecking my way to you
But I still get to be your man

Out of my mind
There never was a method to my madness, it's true
But I'm out of my mind for you

Someday they'll write a book about you,
Because you're so selfish it's funny,
So self-absorbed, this thunderous horde,
Of you, you, you,
So self-absorbed, this thunderous horde,
Of you, you, you

Yeah, I'd love you,

Shall we use needles or knives to realign your spine?
the tissue degenerates so rapidly
perhaps it proves it is the time to cover your face
and smile at me to see if I am out of sight,
denying ventricle flow revel in your plight tonight,
you're such a wonderful person to know
and my name will rest in utter disdain
my resentment receives its wings for flight

When I was a baby I could close the world up in fleshy pink mitts
Now the world flays the infant palms and the bones drip out in its spit
When I was small I reached up so high and grasped at the morning star
Now the wormwood topples down on me and smashes all my parts
When I was a child my bones spread out like peacock feathers alive
Now the feathers wilt like cancerous boils leaving sagging pores in my hide
When I was of age I saw a gate so wide and a path so broad for the taking
But the road to everything led to a cliff where I sprawled out naked and aching

I want to open up my guts
And crawl inside to make a home
And nestle up inside the steaming softness silent and alone
I want to pull apart the things you think that matter
Cause to me nothing is everything, just a vacant listless clatter
And I bury myself underneath myself
I will not reach or call for help
I want to do this on my own I want to feel it in my bones

I remember everything, to be what I've become
A willingness for anything that can and must be done
I remember writing in the womb, wrapped up in viscous gloom

My will is calling out like a sweeping plague
Swallowing the mountains and the deserts and the rain

I remember thinking once that love could never die

I tried to run across the water and I sank into the deep
Listlessly beneath the sea, within it’s murky keep
I want to keep my dinner down but I threw it up today
See how agonizingly propelled without delay?

I can’t breathe and I don’t want to anymore
I can’t breathe and I don’t want to anymore

Open up the wide gates, here I come
The broad path is getting trampled under my feet
The narrow way and the tiny ugly door
Is getting smaller and smaller
Too small for me

Open me up
Just like a vacuum sucking in the dirt

Should you hurt yourself or simply sleep?
I shall collect myself after I weep,
And garb myself in ocean blue,
With no method of goodbye to you,
Should the marsh render a crane to cry,
And the sea suspend her gulls to fly,
I'll lend myself unto their wings,
And hear the voice of Jesus sing,

Whisper something to me so I can hear your voice
I’m pushing you away, my will be done, it is my choice
You sing to me in inky black with tendrils flailing wildly
Yet I remain in solid stone, no force on earth will move me

Why does it seem that everything is slipping further from me?
I build and build and reaching up my arms can not reach anything
Give me something, anything.

I hear when Jesus tells me that i need to bite my tongue
and my teeth, they try to cage it, but the prison comes undone
and everything i'm saying goes falling to the floor
and you're trying not to trip on it as you walk out the door
my pride negates the iron bar i've driven through my neck
compounded by the effort that i constantly regret
can you show me some patience while i try to see this through?
what goes on inside of me is not always the same as what i do

My dearest friend, if I sing you this song, will you hear it from up in heaven?
I'm still down here in this ugly place, but up there's where I'm heading
When they tell you I'm coming, please wait for me in front of the house that I'll live in
And when Jesus walks me up to the door, I can finally see you again

It's true that my heart was broken in two on the day I said goodbye to you
And I carry an ache in my chest until Jesus makes everything new