- All The Bearded Ladies
All the bearded ladies raise your hands
Well she walks in the room and she takes my breath away
Yeah she turns me on in a beard-related way
When we walk down the street people stop and stare
She's a whole lotta woman with a whole lotta facial hair
She's my baby
- Beard Related Song Number 38
Into the fire down below
That's where the beardless people go!
Into the fire down below
That's where the beardless people go!
Into the fire down below
That's where the beardless people go!
Where forever they will rot,
- Bearded Nation
Bearded men listen to me
We were once proud we were once free
Let us not forget our history
Whoa oh
Someday we will find a place
Where beards are welcome on our face
Together we'll create a bearded race
Whoa oh
- Beards Across Australia Unite
Beards across Australia unite!
If your boss tells you: "You got to shave"
Be brave!
If you lose your job because your Beard's too long
Be strong!
... 'cause you've got fired
Retire.
- Got Me a Beard
Had a girl
An actual girlfriend yeah
She asked me
To trim back my face hair
But nobody ever
Tells me to shave
Tells me to shave
- It Only Takes a Fortnight to Grow a Decent Beard - Piano
It takes a lot of heart ache before you know
that women come, and women go
It can take months and it can take years
It can take pain and it can take tears
It takes a lot of money to win a girls heart
And then once you got it, she tears yours apart
Took half my life before I knew
That I would never get over you.
- No Beard, No Good
No beard, No good
There's not enough beards in my neighbourhood
And you can tell me you can't
I know that you could
You've got no beard and you're, no good
no
- No Beard, No Good.
No beard, No good
There's not enough beards in my neighbourhood
And you can tell me you can't
I know that you could
You've got no beard and you're, no good
no
- Shaved Off His Beard
Well, there once was a man
And that man had a Beard
He shaved off his Beard
And now he's dead!
And there once was a girl
And her husband had a Beard
She asked him to shave It often
- Strokin' My Beard
Well you see my beard
And you think that I'm a lazy slob
Yeah you see my beard and you think that I don't have a job
And you're right
And you're right
I don't have a job
(Don't have a job)
I don't have a job)
- The Beard Accessory Store
I once owned and operated a beard accessory store
A beard accessory store
Business it was booming at my beard accessory store
My beard accessory store
But then people started shaving
And business started waning
At my beard accessory store
- This Beard Stays
My Dad had a beard
Coz my Dad wasn't shit
When he died I decided I
Would grow one just like it
I grew it large and I grew it long
I grew it thick and I grew it strong
- Why Having a Beard is Better than Having a Woman
A beard will never talk back
A beard is more attractive when it's hairy and fat
A beard'll stick by you when a woman won't
A beard looks better with age, women don't
You can attack your beard with a razor, it'll keep coming back
You can stroke your beard all night, it'll never get tired
- You Should Consider Having Sex With a Bearded Man
You catch his eye, from across the room you catch his eye
You think ‘oh my, he’s got quite the beard, oh my’
And now you want to but you can’t look away
His beard is black and bushy with a hint of grey
And now you find yourself walking his way
Hey hey
You should consider having sex with a bearded man