- Columbo's Car
We kept seeing Columbo's car around. First of all we saw it outside Burger King on Byres Road, badly parked- about five feet away from the kerb and at the craziest angle, as if he'd stopped there in a hurry. Then my brother saw it outside the place where the swimming pool and the badminton courts are. And later again I saw it parked outside the off-licence, closer to the pavement this time, and parallel too. We only ever saw the car parked, but it always seemed to be outside somewhere I liked to go. And then, when we went out for dinner on wee Karn's birthday and we were hanging our coats up on the coat-rack, we saw Columbo's old mac already hanging there, in amongst all the expensive fur and leather and things. I had a quick look around while we were being taken to our table, to see if he was there, but I couldn't see him anywhere.
But then one night while I was sitting outside on the steps playing my Gameboy, I heard a car stopping on the gravel in front of me. And while I tried to decide which way round to put the L-shaped Tetris piece that was falling, I felt someone sit down on the steps beside me. And I heard them scratching their head. And then, on the reflection on the screen, I saw that it was him.
"Those really are the most fascinating little machines." he said. But I'd built up a whole high pile, which needed a single line for down the side, and I couldn't look up in case it came. "It certainly is nice around here." Columbo said, and I heard his mac moving as he looked around. The single line I'd been waiting for didn't come though, and soon my screen was filled all the way to the top. So I put it down and asked Columbo if someone from around here had been murdered.
"Not murdered, sir. No." he said, "I don't think you could call it murder."
- Impossible Things
So there was this boy and this girl,
And they'd never met.
They'd never spoken to each other,
Or even seen each other.
But one day the girl wrote a letter to the boy.
The boy was lying in bed one morning when the letter arrived.
He heard the postman, and he hoped it might be
- Lover's leap
This is only rain,
It falls sometimes,
The rain doesn't change a thing.
We'll go on-
How much grief can rain bring?
Don't be afraid I'm right behind you.
- My Robot
I thought I'd teach my robot to write all of my songs.
I thought I'd teach my robot to write all my songs,
And I'd send him out into the morning to see what he could see-
Just to roll around the city, and store it all up in his memory.
Then when he got back he could cut up the drum breaks,
Make the loops.
I thought I'd teach my robot to write all my songs,
And I sent off for the book that told me how to re-arrange it's circuits.
- New York Snow
[Chorus]
Down there in the wind and the sirens,
Down there in the city below,
What they need is keeping its silence
Way down under the New York snow,
Under the New York snow.
And up here I read in the papers,
- On The Flipside
I've got a secret I can't keep,
I've been talking in my sleep,
Talking to myself in dreams.
But I don't understand the code,
I've tried, but I don't know
What any of the secret means.
I saw a witch in the corner,
It haunted me in the day,
- The Strangest Girl
God help me,
She's the strangest girl I ever did see.
But heavens above,
Can it be I've fallen in love?
I'd better get myself a doctor,
I'd better get myself some help.
I think I need a strong prescription
- Tomorrow's World
There's still no hotel on the moon.
(I remember reading there would be a pill you could take, instead of eating a meal.)
And no-one has travelled to Mars.
(And everyone would live in things called biospheres.)
This is the year where the future was set.
(And everything would be virtual reality.)
There's still no hotel on the moon.
(And virtual reality's still only a dream.)