- an Opening
I stumbled through the summer haze
and I came to a door haunted by a bittersweet smell.
I saw the old man weeping into the hands of the mirror
My organs hung like portraiture on the walls
made of my skin and my blood.
"What a dismal husk" cried the sky.
The ceiling collapsed and i felt
the gentle caress of pure destruction on my face.
- Blossoming
Branches, gnarled and scraping, latched onto my back bone. They ripped me through the window and dropped me in a garden of decay. I sat alone and I wondered and I thought.
I thought about what the old man had said and I thought about time well spent and I guess time well spent is time spent drawing circles in the sand and brushing them away with the palm of my hand
Beneath the dirt I found a honey-jade stone and I noticed that a rose had grown amongst the trees and their dying leaves.
I stumbled through the hazy grey and I wrapped my hands gently around it's stem and I whispered "You've made this a home, You've finally made this a place I wanna be."
I kissed her just below her neck and the rose and I laid, listening calmly, to the torrential force of the rain.
- Chamomile
Laying, watching the shadows trickle down the photos on my wall. The moon reflecting from the smiles that taught me how to laugh, that taught me how to hope. Value kept in the art and letters i keep under my desk.
The sentiment I found in the note that you left, inked in your handwriting i read; I'll miss you forever and ever and ever. I blink, I blunk, I'll miss you forever.
Lying underneath a bloated moon, singing to the wind.
There was no more room for emptiness.
We bleed together, we bled.
I hope that you're okay.
- Dil Kyun Yeh Mera
Kites (Воздушные змеи) - Dil Kyun Yeh Mera (Отчего это сердце)
Dil kyun yeh mera shor kare
Отчего это сердце вдруг зароптало?
Idhar nahin udhar nahin
Ни сюда, ни туда
Teri ore chale
Оно идет лишь за тобой
- Empty Carcass
Floorboards creak as last weeks smoke releases my lungs from it's suffocating grip.
New smoke is inhaled. Blistered feet from the hot summer asphalt carry me through and empty carcass of walls and carpet. Of blood and skin.
I lose stance, staircase collapses. The timbers rotting it's being eaten. I am rotting, I am being eaten.
I have never felt so sick. One hundred thousand roaches are making love in my head
I have never felt so empty. The dust clouds are painfully familiar.
I have never felt so empty.
I have always felt this empty, I just never noticed it before.
Nothingness.
- Honestly, Anxiety
I woke up at 7 o'clock am,
waiting for my alarm to tick over,
waiting for my heart to stop beating
or at least for the sound to fade.
I woke up at 7 o'clock pm,
waiting for my alarm to tick over,
waiting for my heart to stop beating
- Kites in the sky - Fire
Love and lust can make you go blind
Devil playing with your mind
Yeah fire… fire
Love is hell… got to sell
Sell you soul, sell you soul
Sell you soul
Fire … fire
Love is hell… got to sell
- Reflections
I look around this darklit room, there is a bit of a crowd.
The ghosts say all our paths are riddled with cracks, a bit broken, I should know, how else would I get here?
The dissonance, it sounds like our voices, feels like our hands. It aches and it pierces like none of the other noises
I anxiously line up behind the ghosts, to see my own stare in the mirror. And I look with a meticulous eye, trying to find something to define; Who we are or what I once was, but the fractured image was a blur. And in that moment the clock ceases to tick and I ceased to exist.
Shivers rake my spine and my skin tightens. Oh, these thoughts are too obscure. So I try to write them down, articulate them on paper. Seeking a shape or a pattern. Searching for an answer. Trying to make sense of this house. Trying to make sense of myself
But what I find is so terrifying to me.
It's a mess, It's nothing, I can't find a single thing.
So I write and I write and I write and I write, but I can't escape the lines, I can't escape myself
- Smoove Jazz. Motorbike
I never knew what it was like to stand on a tree so tall,
but then I stood up and saw the sun,
bursting through the clouds and smiling at us
and kissing us on the cheek.
I felt so free and so infinite
and I'm glad I shared that with you.
We seemed so close to the sky even though we were so far away
We smoked our cigarettes and dropped them in the weeds.
- The Old Man in the Living Room Mirror
He appeared, writing on the paper I'd torn.
Coffee stained paper and pencil lead. The old man's eating stale bread. He is not alive nor is he dead. His palms reflect his distress.
He silently weeps into his hands, his wine has gone warm.I can see myself inside of his eyes, but his eyes are shut.
The walls of this husk mock him for he is trapped behind the glass
He clasps his hands and mutters a prayer. He returns my stare and the glass shatters.
And he said: 'I'm jaded by the shadows I let creep inside my head, they lay there so maliciously silent and grey. I always knew something was wrong but I continued on the path that I was on. Embrace the beauty of this world. Embrace the beauty of this place. And please don't follow what you've seen, please don't become like me'