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I couldn’t say it - just couldn’t let you hear it
you needed it
I had something you needed
the silence coming from my side was a knife
slashing right through our handmade quilts and crocheted blankets
and every night
you took it, waiting, year after year, with silence
I couldn’t say it when you needed it

what will remain of us when our accounts are deleted
and all the time we spent typing into the air is gone forever.
what will validate our humanity
if we leave nothing but an ocean of keystrokes that have been jammed so far back
in history
that no one can find them
and if we have children will we provide for them the same distractions
that kept us so still

the weight of a thousand pews
and the statues that sit on them
lifted
projectors, tracks, tithing envelopes, hymnals, little pencils, and insincere handshakes
dissolve all away
we were six years old with sins
eating crackers and coloring Noah’s ark
getting used to our cages

if I wait, wait for tomorrow
who knows what will happen
maybe we can go to the beach or fly in the sky
on the wings of a dragon

if I wait, wait for tomorrow
who knows what will happen
maybe my princess will be waiting for me

holes at the elbows
the outside a little lighter than the inside
avoidable
rusted van still running
choking smell of dust
settled after years of work in the sun
forgotten
health conditions not cared for